New year, new start

Happy New Year! So this is it: the year I learn to enjoy hitting the open road! Well that’s certainly the aim! After my driving lesson I did two or three practice drives with a friend and was able to give a positive update to my driving instructor. I then had to take a couple of weeks off over Christmas and New Year due to illness and general busyness. The lack of practice was somewhat inevitable given the season and wasn’t without some impact but it hasn’t knocked me backed significantly.

Last week we went to Bodenham Arboretum which is about 15 minutes’ drive from our house and half of the journey is on my normal practice route. G drove us there and I drove home. I was mindful that I’d be driving back during our visit but I wasn’t stressing about it. During the drive I did feel a bit anxious, hitting my fear scale around 4 out of 10. I had to get G to ask me some maths questions to distract me! As I already knew, I am very bad at the 8 times table! However, I got us home ok and was glad I had taken the opportunity to drive. It doesn’t feel natural to us as a family for me to drive instead of G but that’s going to have to become normal if I’m to improve.

On Saturday I drove out with a friend and it was good to catch up after Christmas but again I had some anxious moments or periods. It is obvious that for the process of desensitisation to be quicker and more effective then I need more practice. I know the value of regular practice from my piano playing. Ideally, every day is best however it’s winter, it’s completely dark in the evenings, I work, I have small people, etc. So, I have to work with what I’ve got and just keep practicing when I can and if that means it takes me longer to crack this then so be it. I’m not in a rush, but I don’t want to lose the momentum I’ve got going just now. Hopefully slow and steady will win this particular race.

Currently my goal is to be able to get B to a party in a couple of weeks’ time in Blakedown on my own. There are two ways to get there from our house: the A456 via Hagley or the A451 via Iverley, which is my practice road. The A456 is slightly less scary to me in this instance and I am very tempted to go that way but for precisely that reason I must use the scarier road. Working a way around my fears is only allowing them to get bigger.

Part of this goal involves starting to drive happily alone and learning to distract myself early enough to stop the panic setting in. I have a few ideas of how to get to this point, including starting with my driving buddy sitting in the back of the car not speaking! Anyone fancy that slot?! I’m interested to see if the location within the car of any adult passenger makes me feel any different. If so, this could be a way of weaning myself off having a buddy. My car has seats in the boot so potentially a passenger could be two rows back! Alternatively, will talking with 5 year old B prove to be enough of a distraction? E definitely isn’t but then she’s only 2! She can talk very well but our conversations don’t require enough concentration from me! There’s also listening to podcasts or music which might be helpful in the longer term.

So there are some things for me to try out in the coming weeks and I’ll report back after the party!