Waiting

Thanks for all the messages in response to my first post. It seems I’m not the only one who is struggling with something and I’m glad that in some cases help is being sought. For anyone suffering from some kind of anxiety I can only advise, do something about it as soon as it starts because trying to deal with it then must surely be easier than waiting for years like I have!

It’s been a quiet week in terms of driving. I was off work last week, mostly doing jobs around the house with no real need to drive anywhere.  I felt like I should have taken the opportunity to go for a child-free drive but I’m not keen to go alone at the moment and I couldn’t think of anyone who might have the time to come with me who wouldn’t have had to bring a child! Starting to tackle something like this when it gets dark so early isn’t ideal either!

I feel I’m just waiting now for my driving lesson which is next Monday. I’m hoping it will prompt some new activity on my part as, presumably, I will have some practising to do.  In the meantime I’m trying not to analyse my driving too much in case I get more anxious about what has been comfortable. 

I have, however, been thinking about where I’d like to be able to visit so I have some goals to aim for. Here’s my list in what I think is the approximate order of difficulty, easiest first:

Bodenham Arboretum (I have an annual pass and could take E on a Monday)

Kidderminster (Dunelm!)

Bewdley/Safari Park

Ikea, Wednesbury 

Birmingham via Manor Way dual carriageway (super-scary!)

Bridgnorth 

Worcester

I’ve also been wondering if I should be aiming higher than I am. I’m kind of saying to myself, “Just be able to get to Kidderminster or Ikea without panicking and that’ll do” but a little bit of me would like to actually enjoy driving. The Bible says that Jesus came to bring life in its fullness. Perhaps for me in this situation the fullness means doing more than just getting by.  

G and I have both separately wondered if I need to do some sort of racing car experience! I’m probably not ready for that just yet but perhaps it could be part of my plan. Under the right circumstances it might help to re-programme my mind into thinking driving is fun and speed can be handled safely. It is probably also the case that I don’t know much about how a car works! Why would I?! Cars these days are full of warning signs for this and that so I just look them up in the manual when they appear! But perhaps if I understood how the car works in terms of speeding up and slowing down I could feel more in control. 

So, there is the possibility of adding a few things into my strategy to get back to a fuller driving experience to accompany the inevitable time spent just practicing driving. 

Hopefully all will be well for my lesson next week and I’ll post again after that!